“My Coming Out Story”

Part One.

 

 

Luke Humphries a 19 year old student from England opens his heart and tells us his coming out story in the first of our series of personal coming out stories.

 

 

Fear vs. Reality

Coming out is something I don’t remember very well because it went smoothly. What I remember more is the time before I came out, the irrational and negative years of self-hatred and being fearful of what would happen if/when I confirmed to people that I was gay.

I didn’t plan to come out, a few days after I turned 16 my mum asked me if I was gay and I responded truthfully. She told the family which meant no awkward conversation and nobody in my family has really mentioned it to me since then, they are all silent accepting including my closed-minded farther. A few weeks later I started college, unlike school the people there didn’t ask about my sexuality or care about it. It was a fresh start for me, I decided not to hide my sexuality and be truthful about it when it came up in conversation. So the only person I feel that I have properly come out to in my life is my mum.

When I reflect on the days before coming out I feel ashamed, not because I was in the closet but because of the irrational thoughts I had and how I let them control me. I allowed myself be constantly fearful and think that coming out would have devastating effects. I’m angry at myself for going through emotional torture for years because the reality of coming out for me was never going to be that bad, I now realise that and wish I could have seen that in the years before I came out.

As soon as we realise we are gay, a lot of us see coming out as the biggest thing we will ever do and naturally think the consequences will be bad. I would say to everyone who fears coming out to just think rationally. In today’s modern society being gay isn’t the big, bad, shocking thing young teenagers convince themselves it is. I appreciate that for many people coming out doesn’t go well but I think the fear a lot of young teenagers have regarding coming out doesn’t match up to reality.

 

By Luke Humphries